Letting Go

Well, this post is straight outta one of my journals. I wrote something like this for my school magazine, and it got chosen… so I thought “Why not!?” Hope you enjoy reading it!

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“Get moving!!” I was forcefully shoved into the back of a small aircraft that was dimly lit. I squirmed and tried to back out, but the two men, who looked like they could break boulders with their bare hands, held me tightly in place and put on my seat belt. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the dark and soon saw my parents and older brother sitting right across me, but their presence was not reassuring.  I started feeling claustrophobic – my head swirled and my palms became sweaty. Every fiber in my body was telling me to break out and run, run as far away as possible. I flashed back to when this entire incident started.

It was a sunny day – cloudless, windy, with the smell of fresh flowers having just bloomed in the spring all around us. I was in Australia with my family, and we were headed for a new adventure. We didn’t know where we were going; we were just driving and appreciating the beautiful scenery. A few miles from our hotel, we came across a small shack. We got out of our shack and made our way towards it, curious to know what adventure it might hold for us. Little did I know that I was going to regret this decision later.

It turned out that the shack was an institute for skydiving. I didn’t dwell on the thought much, pretty sure that my parents would just look around the place and then leave. Unfortunately, as it turned out, my parents decided to sign us all up. This news made my heart grow ice-cold with fear. I was afraid of heights.

I argued with my parents for hours, trying to talk them out of making me go. I tried everything – I even agreed to do my brother’s chores for the next two months, but they didn’t budge. They said that the only way to overcome my fear was to ‘live’ it. I didn’t understand this logic at all.

So here I was, with my heart throbbing, and eyes squeezed shut. After what only seemed like moments, I heard men telling us what to do after we jumped off the aircraft. I paid full attention, even though I’d memorized the instructions by heart (well enough to recite them in my sleep). My parents seemed to be excited and my brother was literally bouncing on his seat, unable to sit still. Looking at them, I was pretty sure I was adopted. There they were, Excited to plunge to their deaths, and here I was, SCARED to death!

A small door was opened, and blinding light filled the craft. I felt so nauseous that I was sure I was going to faint any moment. I decided to go last, though I didn’t know how that would make me feel any better. One after the other, down went my family.

Before I knew it, it was my turn. I said a silent prayer to all the gods that existed and hoped to make it down in one piece. Th fact that my stomach was trying to crawl out of my body didn’t make me feel much better. I felt dizzy as I walked towards the door.

And then I fell, and kept falling for what seemed like forever. I shrieked as loud as I could and felt the blood rush to my ears. I knew I was going to die. Suddenly, I remembered what my instructor told me, and I opened my eyes to take a quick peek. What I saw before me was mesmerizing. An entire town was sprawled beneath me, looking like little Lego blocks.

A giggle escaped my mouth, and I realized with astonishment that I had never felt so alive before. I opened my parachute and was soon gliding through the sky. I felt like a bird, soaring in the wind. My stomach was still in knots, but I felt relaxed. I realized that the best way of overcoming a fear, was by simply letting go…

– Just Another Magical Soul